My husband sent me this link to an article in today’s Telegraph about a book titled, “Get Married and Be Submissive.”
I haven’t read the book. It’s unlikely that I will, as I don’t read or speak Italian.
I just wonder about the nature of the media article and their desired purpose – whether they are trying to generate controversy to make money on ads, whether they are trying to make the author look foolish, demeaning to women, poke fun at biblical marriage, or whether they are trying to rile up the feminists.
I don’t really know. But my initial reaction, based only on the article content and the impression it gave me, went something like this:
The publicized examples encourage men to behave as children and wives to enable that. It doesn’t sound like 1 Peter 3:1-6, especially verse 7 to me, which is not respectful of the wife, nor helping her husband. It DOES avoid an argument with an immature person, true (and we are called sometimes to NOT answer a fool according to his folly) but the example doesn’t esteem men OR women.
Submission is not to generate peace at all costs, but rather to facilitate decision making in a marriage between two grown equal heirs to the throne.
Could be the media got it wrong, or I misinterpreted the intent of the article author and the book author, but the title and the tone presented here on surface glance are indicative of too many Christian wives who follow the “be a doormat” concept taught by immature conservatives. Men who criticize and constantly complain are representative of immature children with the same issues of maturity – not all men, perhaps not even most, are like this. I think this presentation could do much to diminish a husband’s relationship with God (1 Peter 3:7 style).
The presentation also has the potential to suck mature intimacy from marriage for both.
What I hope is that the book author’s words are taken out of context and the media is just trying to generate controversy, shares, and as a result, ad revenue.
As for me, I’m going to contact the author and ask my question, because I fully understand what it is like to be misunderstood. We should always give others the benefit of the doubt. I also know first hand what it means to be misrepresented. Can’t tell you how many tears I’ve cried over well thought out words that get twisted by media people. #painful
In keeping with Matthew 18, please notice that I did not have a problem or conflict, but am merely making observations about the impressions an article gave me. I make no assumptions about the book author, but now that I am curious, I will contact her myself to begin dialogue. Might keep you posted. Will see what happens. Like I said, I don’t speak Italian.
Am interested in your thoughts today on this topic, either “submission” or “media” – what say you?
Glad to be on the journey with you.
UPDATE: Check the comment section below – there’s a contribution of a chapter of the book in English from the author’s admin.
UPDATE #2: Read part of the English comments on Costanza’s blog, and there was this from another one of her books, I think titled, “Get Married and Die for Her”:
It is a funny reflection about the differences between men and women, the different languages they use, the different ways they think (a man does just one thing at a time, women so many!). If women tend to take control of the relation (and it is the point they have to work about), men tend to be selfish, to sleep on the couch, they don’t listen to women. The woman should be a mirror for his man, she should show him a beautiful image, she should show him that which is good and beautiful, so he can find the strength to give life for her and for their children.
What do you think? As for me, I wish I could read Italian.
Love to you,