Has He Changed?

After an exhausting and difficult week, and frankly getting ready to start the next one just as tired, God blessed me in one of my favorite ways. He reminded me of the work He is doing through The Respect Dare book. I have always said I don’t take any credit or responsibility for what He accomplishes in the lives of the women who choose to step out in faith and try “submission” and “respect.”

After a week of watching the media chew up Gabrielle Reece, the volleyball star whose memoir boldly suggests submission as a wise course of action for wives, I realized that if smart secular people are getting this, we need to do a better job as the church in leading and coming alongside women trying to figure this out. God sent me this encouragement via a lovely woman named, “Kristy” and I am humbled and privileged to share it with you:

The first of 2013 I started a bible study that was covering “The Respect Dare.” The first few dares were not very hard for me, but when it got to “Dare 8 Remember”, well, that was the hardest one for me. One of the questions asked us to think of five attributes or strengths that your husband possessed when you married him. It took me a while to come up with a list. Then we were dared to tell our husbands what we wrote down. Right then I thought, “He is not going to care what I think, these words will just fall straight to the ground.” I also knew that this was the enemy telling me that. And then I knew God was saying, “Tell him why you married him.” So I did. I just read the list off and gave examples. My husband’s reaction was what I expected – there was not one. He said, “Thanks,” and that was that.

The next day, after coming home from a workout, my husband gave me a hug, something that was not the norm at this time.

I was taken back, and let him know how much that meant to me. Later that day when he picked me up from work, I could tell something had changed. We got home and he pulled me aside and the WALLS CAME DOWN!!! He said he was sorry for all he put me through and he would not hold back anymore, and he has not to this day.

I to this day tell him daily I love him and make sure I am speaking his language of touch frequently. I will not take advantage of my marriage or take it for granted any longer. My marriage is a precious gift from God and I am going to treat it that way.

These dares have shown me how to be a respectful, loving and caring wife. To love my husband as God loves him. I am thankful to remember what a precious gift my husband is to me. I am blessed and so thankful to have been through what I have been through, because I have grown and learned much. I have such a passion for my marriage now and for others’ marriages out there to be everything God intends them to be, AMAZING. Some of the dares are hard but if you stay faithful to walk it out and keep your eye on God and HIS bigger picture you will see a change in HIS timing, in yourself, your relationships and your marriage.


I know that some of you are hearing gobs of arguments right now about why your marriage could never be like this – but I want to encourage you to stop listening to that other guy. Read Why Respect and When it Doesn’t Work and get your armor on. We are in a war, and this battle needs to be fought well, for our families’ sake, and for our own growth and obedience. Dare you to remember why you married that guy in the first place – and ask God to reveal to you how those characteristics are still there.

And if you think of it, will you please pray for our ecourse group doing the book together? They get started today.

So happy you are on the journey with us!

Love to you,


titus 2 women leadership

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

4 thoughts on “Has He Changed?

  1. I about died when I saw a secular author speaking on submission. I am looking forward to actually reading her book – which it seems like many of her critics didn’t bother to do. It’s refreshing to see a biblical principle in the secular world.
    🙂 Thanks Nina.

  2. I just bought the book and received it over the weekend. I will be getting started on the 40 days today!!! I have started some of the ideas shared through the blog and I see where they really do work!!! I am very excited about this journey the Lord is taking me on and thankful I can share it with you ladies as well!!!

  3. I can personally vouch for the changes. Working hard towards respect and obedience has allowed my husband to embrace pieces of his manhood that he feared to do so before. The results of that have been amazing transformations in both of us, our marriage and our home.

    Nagging and disrespecting our men has been proven to lower testosterone but the opposite is also true. Building him up, encouraging him and creating a safe environment for him to be all God created him to be builds testosterone which makes a confident man.

    Not only that but surrendering this part of me has been the opposite of becoming a doormat. It has been empowering and freeing. Embracing the woman God created me to be has made me more confident, focused, and driven.

    I believe that we are about to see revival and it’s very likely that women will be at the forefront. We need to have this concept down in the church for that to be most effective.

Comments are closed.