When I woke this morning, I knew God wanted me to share with you that I had sinned against my husband, hurt his feelings, and what happened as a result.
I wasn’t surprised, therefore, when I read Proverbs 28 today, in verse 13: “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
The nitty gritty details aren’t necessary here, but I will tell you that I said something I shouldn’t have, and it hurt my big mountain of a man. And instead of apologizing immediately, I let it sit out there for hours, growing the festering wound in his heart.
The Holy Spirit nudged me, and my flesh wanted to come up with a reason my unkind comment was justified. It couldn’t. Yes, he had also been wrong about some things in the discussion – but that was HIS issue, not mine. God wanted me to work on my issues, instead of pointing fingers. That whole “plank in your own eye” thing…
And I knew if I wasn’t committed to a life-long journey of respect for myself, my God and others, I would not be taking action at all. Thank God for writing The Respect Dare and for the ministry!
Then, the enemy tried to use guilt and shame to keep me from full repentance. “How could he forgive me for this?” I thought. I felt embarrassed. “How can I even say anything? Maybe I should just leave it alone…” The Holy Spirit shined His light into my heart, however, and Truth prevailed. I remembered that without healing balm, wounds often scar worse.
And apology and forgiveness provides the healing balm of relationships.
Left untreated, these “little injuries” result in the gaping wound of a relationship destroyed.
I called my husband, and this is what I said… “I was really wrong to say what I did last night. I am sorry. I hurt you, and I was wrong. Please forgive me. I was out of line, and you didn’t deserve that. I’m really sorry for hurting you.”
We had a discussion. He forgave me.
Then he talked about how he was also wrong, and we talked some more.
Growthful, painful stuff.
We are closer today as a result.
Dare you to take similar action in your relationships. Know God well enough in the first place (by spending time with Him DAILY, even if it’s just reading Proverbs for the date) to recognize the different voices and follow the Right One. It will change everything. Stay focused on your own behavior, instead of committing the sin of judgment against others.
SO glad you are on the journey! What about you? How easy is it for you to apologize first? What do you struggle with? What has God done in your situations?
Love to you,