Did you marry well?
Or wish you had married someone else?
That “can’t sleep – can’t eat – can’t think about anything but him” feeling disappears after 6 months to a year or three.
That is normal.
If you are wishing that the guy you married (you know, “Mr. Right” at the time) was “Mr. Right NOW,” maybe your focus is not on the right things, nor the right person…
I remember paying attention to the small things during the day that my husband did “wrong.”
Things that were “insensitive” or “uncaring” on his part.
Things he had no idea he was even doing.
And by the end of the day, I felt especially unloved.
Contrast that to a day spent “catching him in the act of doing things well,” and paying attention only to those things…creates a totally different experience of marriage, don’t you think?
What reality are you creating?
Imagine for a moment that your husband has been given 1 month to live. What “insults” would you begin to overlook, in light of his illness and upcoming demise? All too often, we take things personally and assign mal-intent to this man, when really, he’s just being a man.
Maybe even being a man who has not had the benefit of a godly father in his own life. So he’s not gentle, kind, loving, etc., naturally, and has to learn.
And we really don’t know how many days he really has…
Having grown up gorged on Disney movies, however, we fail to recognize that Mr. Right is a Prince Charming In Process, just as we are a Princess in Process.
Maybe instead of paying attention to his failings, and his sin, we should instead focus on how WE can live moment to moment this day to delight God.
Mature Christian wives don’t judge their husbands for sinning differently than they do… they instead offer grace and forgiveness.
Mature Christian wives don’t expect others to read their minds and make them happy, instead they are looking for ways to BE LOVE to those in their lives, through the power of the Holy Spirit, spreading His peace, His joy, and His comfort, even in the midst of difficulties, and as a result, allow a living testimony of the Spirit to flow through them.
Dare you today to ask God to show you 1) where you are sinning and need to apologize and ask forgiveness, and 2) how you can obey His Word more. Double-dog-dare you to do this one out loud with a friend or comment here!
Triple-dog-dare you to treat everyone in your life as if they only had 1 month or less to live. Changes a few things, doesn’t it?
Why not spend each day planting bulbs of blessings instead of searching for wasps? A decade or three later, your marriage will have a beautiful harvest. Mature wives know when to overlook an insult, and when to deal with a sin against them (and how to deal with it such that it doesn’t destroy their husband or their marriage!).
If you think of it, please pray for our ministry, Daughters of Sarah, and “The Respect Dare.”
Just as a reminder, the book will come off the market sometime soon, late July/early August, as Thomas Nelson will be releasing it in December. If you have fall studies, be sure to order your books asap! I’m really sorry for the inconvenience!
Please know, however, that we’ll also have another book available sometime this fall/winter, too. Thank you for your patience with me. Extend even more to your family members!
Glad for the journey,
Love to you,