Got Conflict?

My 16 year old blew me away yesterday.

Talking about conflict and how to best resolve it, I heard what I’ve been teaching him emerge in a single sentence.

For a brief moment, I wondered if I’d created a doormat.  Then He clarified.

First, he said, “Dealing with conflict is easy, mom, once you figure out what you need to apologize for,” he said.

Then, “Because it’s never only one person’s fault,” he continued.

YES.

And apology heals relationship.  And grows us.

And our inability to apologize or even SEE how we are wrong (and we are usually wrong about something, just like the other person) is wrapped up in our pride.

And so next we judge.

Both of those things (pride and judgment) are sin.

And destroy, rather than build relationship. And tie us in bondage, instead of giving us abundant life… seriously – freedom in apology.  Dare you to believe.

Dare you today to OWN what is yours to own (and not more, btw, that’s just crazy), extend grace, and apologize humbly for what’s yours.

To me, today, the most powerful words of Jesus Christ came as He hung, “Father, forgive them.  They know not what they do.”

Dare you to comment or share.

Super-glad you are on the journey with me today.  You are good company.

Love to you,

~Nina

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Comments

  1. Sarah says

    What do you do when the other person blames you for the problems? In other words, it is always all my fault?

    • Nina Roesner says

      Oh, Sarah. :) Hugs your direction, beautiful one. :) No. It’s not always your fault, but in any conflict, there is always something to own. Sometimes others are “more” wrong, but that’s a human judgment.
      Mature, wise faith takes responsibility, takes ownership. Immature ignorance blames. He knows not what he does. 1 Peter 2 thru to the end, then begins 1 Peter 3, “In the same way…” Know your suffering isn’t going un-noticed. Know your tears are precious. Know they are part of the process for the guy who journeys next to you… :) Hang in there. Love to you.

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