Proverbs 21has two verses that, as wives, should smack us upside the head.
Proverbs 21:19 states, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”
Proverbs 21:9 states, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
I have a few people in my life who are “quarrelsome,” and frankly, I don’t enjoy their company.
But He also gives us the answer to better relationships in 21:23: “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.”
And we’ve already learned to “guard our hearts,” from earlier Proverbs.
What I find disconcerting is some women who have guarded their hearts so much that they just “don’t want to be married to” their husbands any longer. A friend of mine was at a business luncheon this week, and she heard a number of women making the statement, agreeing with it, etc. Another friend communicated that her neighbor was raising her daughter to be “independent” and “not need anyone.”
While aiming for a responsible young woman, she may end up with a daughter who does life’s journey alone.
And since the feminist movement (which had some good points but did some damage, imho), we’ve been creating daughters who grow up into women who think divorce is just another thing that’s done in the pursuit of happiness.
While I think personal responsibility is a great character trait to have, these ladies will struggle, just like I did, to swim in the deep waters of intimacy that can only be created through doing life as a married team.
If we’re communicating to our little girls, “Who needs a man?” (remember the old song about a fish and a bicycle?) of course their marriages and families will be ones where intimacy is lacking.
Because intimacy is risky.
And taking risks involves bravery.
And being humble.
And trusting God.
But it’s so worth it.
I can say this because I’ve done the big career thing. I’ve been independent.
And, I’ve been miserable in my marriage.
I can honestly tell you there is another side!
God wired us to do life in community, relying on people and Him. If you won’t take my word for it, check God’s in Genesis 2:24: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (emphasis mine).
Dare you today, to swallow your pride (check the verses on that in Proverbs 21, too!) and actually accept help from someone else, especially your husband.
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Triple-dog-dare you to join us in Indianapolis on the 4th and 5th of November at the Greencastle Church Women’s Retreat! Sounds like a tremendously fun weekend of tank filling – more information here: Respect Dare Retreat. This is one of the few “open” events we do during the year. Thanks to Greencastle Church for making it open! J