Should I Stay or Should I Go?

So today, when I read Proverbs 7, I identified with the woman who was “loud and defiant,” whose feet “never stay home.”

And I recalled a recent conversation with our Operations Director about a church that wants us to come do leadership and relationship training. Stay with me, there’s a marriage point at the bottom… J

“It’s in Oregon,” she said.

“Oh,” I said.

And my heart sank.

I just can’t travel that much. I just can’t be away from my kiddos and husband so often. In an effort to encourage other wives and moms and Christian leaders to live well, follow Him, be obedient, and balance their lives with healthy relationships, good communication, conflict resolution, and time management, I can’t walk away from what we teach as a ministry.

That attitude and operational principle was fine and dandy when we weren’t getting a ton of inquiries, but now we have to make choices about who we’ll say, “Yes,” to, and it is becoming more difficult to figure those things out.

What is also frustrating is that the natural way most in our shoes make these choices is by sheer numbers – and for some reason, that just doesn’t seem quite right to me. I feel led to do something different.

The burden I feel is wrapped around this question: Who am I to say that a church that has 40 people attending an event is any less valuable than one who has hundreds? What if an entire workshop was orchestrated just so ONE person would hear His message that day, in the midst of “only” 30 other people?

God would totally do something like that.

And while we are making decisions that could potentially limit our growth as an organization, I do not believe for one second that God would have me lay my family at the altar of success, either, even if it’s ministry related.

Someone once told me that doing ministry “costs” you and your family. While there is some truth to that, I don’t believe it is any truer than anyone else’s journey following God.

But it’s always been the same old story, since the beginning of time – will we follow Him, or will we go our own way?

So we’re trying to figure out how to broadcast video at high definition or video tape what we do so that others can experience it without us having to physically be there. Our training method is unique, life-changing, and different than anything anywhere – and the impact is lasting.

Yes, I fully believe God would want us to grow.

But not at the cost of the time we spend with the most important people in our lives – our families.

Or in lieu of missing an interaction with someone specific He had in mind.

Please don’t think I’m judging those who do otherwise, btw. I’m just sharing what I feel led to do. I trust their relationship with God, also. They need to do what they feel led to do, and for me to judge the choices they make is wrong.

Anyway, dare you today to make decisions that are right, even if they are hard. Like staying in a marriage wrought with conflict.

This might be God’s cue to you to learn how to engage in disagreements better. Or He might be growing your patience and perseverance because He has a bigger plan for you both. But He needs you to obey now, so you’ll be ready to do His thing later. Remember, Sarah and Abraham waited 25 years for Isaac to be born.

Oh, and double-dog-dare you to email us at if you know of technology that could help us connect multiple locations via HD video feed that’s not too expensive! J You never know who is going to know something, so it never hurts to ask! J

Thankful to be on the journey with you!


titus 2 women leadership

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6 thoughts on “Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  1. does video conferencing as well as video chat. I am not sure it would fit your needs but it is worth checking out.

    best, Pam

  2. “Go To” meeting or Webinars may be an option for you. The congregation on the other end will have to accommodate to receive the info but it is workable. Just a suggestion. Coming from full time ministry perspective of 12 years. I understand the high price family makes/pays in service to the Lord. The challenge is to keep family prioritized in spite of continual great opportunities to serve the Lord! I respect the choice to stay home with family especially with young ones. The window with your children/husband is a rapidly changing one. Home is always a reflection if what you believe is real and “working” . What is the use if you focus on the world and lose your own mission field under your nose. If the timing of the ministry expansion is ripe, perhaps it’s time to send “Tabithas and Timothys (2Timothy 2:2)” to do the work you have always done. Delegating and equipping others to carry out the work may the direction God is growing you. Growing pains are usually good in God’s kingdom.

    • Thank you so much for your insight, Lisa! I have always worked – part time since the kiddos came on the scene, and my training job with Dale Carnegie saw to it that they were with Dad when I was working, so it was awesome. I always thought when they were older and in school, I’d have more time, but I’m homeschooling, and even though I don’t do much but manage the highschoolers’ homework, I find they need me on an emotional level, helping them navigate the relationship and conflict waters as much as they needed me physically when they were young. And I wouldn’t miss this time with my kids and husband for anything…I am thankful He put me in those roles first, as the choices are easier. I’ve looked at the stuff, but didn’t see video streaming – I’ll look again. 🙂 Thanks so much!

    • God is good, ALL the time… 🙂 Just trying to sort it all out – thanks heaps for the prayers! They’re always highly appreciated!

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