What Do You See? What Do You Share?

http://www.biblestudytools.com/proverbs/6.html October of 2002. I stood in the ICU, wiped my father’s face with a washcloth, and said, “Just go, Daddy, it’s okay.” My dad breathed his last, sighed, and his spirit left his body.

I might have lied to him, but they couldn’t do anything for him anyway, so his struggles were for naught.

And today, I read Proverbs 6 above, and multiple things came to mind about my dad:

  • How he worked so very hard for so many years, just to die the year he was to retire from something he couldn’t possibly impact
  • How he stayed married to my mom, ever faithful, for 40 years
  • How he was rich in relationships, and financially
  • How he pursued success and found it

And today, for a moment, as I do each fall, I once again wonder where he is.

I have regrets. I could have been more clear about the Creator, but because I was nervous to offend him in his last days, didn’t want him to think badly of me (also known as PRIDE – also something the Lord detests), I was vague in my gospel presentation. And while I regret it, I can’t do anything to change it.

Unless you have a time machine to loan me.

Sitting here now, I know I just didn’t really believe what I said I believed back then.

The knowledge was in my head, not in my heart.

God was a “concept” I fully understood, but not a living breathing relationship in my life at that time.

But there’s such a difference now, and I wish for a do-over with my dad.

So, today, I focus on what is good, noble, true and right, worthy of praise: I am thankful, today for the example of a good, hardworking man.

I appreciate the effort he put into his work, how he wasn’t lazy.

And I am appreciative of my own husband, who works just as hard.

And I am humbled.

Yesterday, as the cold snap caused all of us to don socks and jackets, my husband said to me, “Who bought you that great coat? Oh, your husband? He must really love you!”

“Oh, yes he does…” I replied.

Yes, we have different “love languages” and we still sometimes struggle with speaking the other’s language naturally, even after 20 years of marriage.

Have you ever wondered what it must be like to be a man who deeply loves his wife, and yet she tells him she doesn’t feel loved by him?

I regret doing that several years ago.

The days we are here are but few. I feel led today to dare us all to look beyond our own selfish desires (sometimes we call them, “needs”) and look instead to what God has allowed us to have instead.

Which causes us to allow ourselves to be humbled.

Dare you to focus on what you DO have today, instead of what you don’t.

Dare you also to not wait for “tomorrow,” or “retirement,” to live, connect, and share the Most Important Truth Ever with others. Or to appreciate what is good, instead of focusing on what’s not perfect. Whatever you do, don’t give voice to the imperfections, as they just create discouragement for others.

And if you, like me, “understand the concept” of God, but don’t have a living relationship with Him, I dare you to ASK Him to help you create that in your life.

Then hang on! J

Double-dog-dare you to share, comment or subscribe above.

Grateful to be on the journey.




  1. Nina Roesner says

    I’m so sorry…but as long as there is breath, there is life.

    And hope.

    So apologize – tell him what you have told us, and then do better.

    And give him time to get used to things…

    And in the mean time, praise God for opening your eyes (and ours) in the process. He wants us ALL to see others the way He does – which is so different from what we naturally do.

    May God change your marriage, and those of other women who have been blessed by your brave transparency here with us today, lovely.

  2. Susan says

    for years I told my husband that I didn’t feel loved by him…
    …I just wanted him to do something… like hold me in his arms
    and tell me everything would be okay because he does love me…

    He would tell me that he loved me… but I was still left feeling
    unloved by him…

    Eventually he decided that he Didn’t love anymore… which is when
    I realized that his doing odd jobs around the house, finishing our basement,
    helping out with diapers was HIS way of showing me his love.

    I just didn’t get it… I so wish I could take back all of the times that
    I told him that He didn’t really love me….
    … all I wanted was to feel his love for me in ways that were meaning
    to ME – I was being so selfish… I understand that now, but the damage has been done…