Oops.
Uh-Oh.
I can’t get through a day without apologizing to nearly everyone I live with at least once.
I forget things, even though I am highly scheduled.
I’m sometimes selfish, so I inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings.
I get sick and have chronic pain, so I can be short on patience.
And I’m human, so I jump to conclusions occasionally.
Sometimes, that’s the only exercise I get.
So what should I do?
Simple, but not easy.
Apologize.
Then right the wrong, if possible.
I used to be a trainer with Dale Carnegie and Associates. One of Mr. Carnegie’s principles was to apologize quickly and emphatically. When I was reading Proverbs 12 today, I ran across this verse:
14 From the fruit of their lips people are filled with good things,
and the work of their hands brings them reward.
So I told my son that I was sorry I came across as judgmental when discussing something a friend of his did recently. In that conversation (the one where I was judgmental) I forbade him from going somewhere with that individual. So when I discovered that I was wrong, I apologized. I told him he must have felt like I wasn’t a very good listener, and that I didn’t trust him. I then suggested he have the kid over, to make up for my mistake. He readily forgave me. We had the kid over. And my son and I talked just today about some really heavy stuff he’s dealing with…so the relationship is intact.
There are gobs of books on how to apologize. I tend to think it is pretty simple. Have fruitful lips (in other words, say you are sorry when you have said/done/been wrong, and identify the feelings the other person experienced because of what you said/did) and then work to right the wrong if you can.
Do this with your husband, and he’ll view you as a “woman of noble character.” Brownie points if you can tell me where I found that! J
Thankful to be on this journey with you, practicing “The Respect Dare” with you each day!
~Nina
