Every Tear … and The Respect Dare

I listened through tear filled eyes as my friend confessed the feelings of longing and loneliness which filled her waking moments.  “He’s not a bad man, he just doesn’t want anything to do with me physically.”  I wish she were the only one of my girlfriends, who no matter how in shape, thin, beautiful or sultry they make themselves, their husbands still don’t pursue intimacy with them.

I wish I could say that the magic pills out there fix all of the problems women face.

The truth is, no matter whom we’ve married, we ALL are facing opportunities for pain each day. 

Some of the pain is caused by our own unmet expectations, some is due to our own bad choices, and yes, some is caused by our interpretation of someone else’s behavior.  We might be right or wrong in that interpretation, but nonetheless, we need to be able to move through and past our pain to the learnings on the other side.   As we walk through The Respect Dare or Daughters of Sarah next to these women, we see the same thing over and over again…deep hurts which must be dealt with before healing and victory can be claimed. 

What excites me the most is that our God doesn’t waste any of our pain.  From 2 Corinthians 1:  3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

In other words, we are called to be an encouragement to those who are suffering, and that’s frequently because of our own trials.  What’s exciting is that God doesn’t waste anything.  There’s always learning for us, and for others, especially if we don’t keep our sufferings to ourselves!

Bottom Line:  Share your struggles at two times: 1) when going through them and you need prayer, and 2) when you’re on the other side and you can help someone else!

Love to you,


titus 2 women leadership

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5 thoughts on “Every Tear … and The Respect Dare

  1. One more thing, sometimes husbands aren’t interested because they are getting their needs met elsewhere…porn or another woman. Sorry I didn’t include that in the other response – haven’t had enough coffee yet this morning to be operating on all cylinders!

  2. Mrs. VK – so glad for you that you don’t have these issues! And good for you for choosing to be involved with women at the level you are. Few friends actively choose to become mentors and be helpful to those around them. These gals are blessed to have you in their lives! There are a multitude of reasons why men don’t pursue intimacy with their wives, ranging from feeling disrespected, and exhaustion from work, to low testosterone levels. It depends on the individual situation, and can frequently be a combination of things. We recommend they read two books: 1) The Respect Dare, and 2) The Sex Starved Marriage. Hope that helps! If you are interested in finding out more about the respect issue, please join us at the community page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Respect-Dare/99966176226


  3. So, I am a young (very happily) married wife ( of almost 5 years) and have already run across the situations that you mentioned in the beginning of this post…. what do you tell these women when their husbands don’t pursue intimacy with them?

  4. Thank you for this reminder. I really like this site that encourages me to respect my husband, and work toward being a better help-mate to him!

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