One man’s opinion about defensiveness…


Ever ask a man about defensiveness? A little while back, a class member asked me a question about her husband. He had made fun of a disabled person and was angry about how long it took to get through the grocery line. She has been at a loss at how to deal with these things. […]

How to avoid feeling shame …

Cast blame, shame, and condemnation OUT!!RESPECT yourself& others (2)

Ever have someone shame you? It’s an awful feeling, don’t you think? The face-flushing, guilty-headache, hot-cheeked, where’s-the-door-right-Now? feeling that stinks like no other. And you may not consider yourself someone who dumps shame on others – I certainly didn’t think of myself that way – but if we’ve ever begun a sentence with, “How could […]

What should she do?

In search of the male perspective...


Psychologists will tell us that the “parent-child” style of relating is extremely unhealthy in marriage. What IS healthiest is “adult-adult.” Unfortunately, we don’t always do that. Both men and women can be “parental” in a relationship and “childish.” This manifests itself in ranges of varying levels of controlling behaviors to rebelliousness, respectively. I have a […]

Who is to blame?

RD_dare-12 (1)

Who is to blame? As I wrestled with the rope knot on the tarp covering our boat, two thoughts fought for the lead spot in my brain. The first thought, given that it was Memorial Day and this used to be my dad’s fishing boat, was of the man who taught me to fish. I […]

Reformed perfectionist…


In yesterday’s blog, I promised you that I would share what God did to change me into a reformed perfectionist. I’d like to say it was some great heroic effort on my part. Or some amazing insight that I had on my own that enlightened me. It wasn’t anything I did. My process of reformation […]

Is perfectionism destroying you or your family?

The characterflaws we ignore in ourselvesinevitably show up in our kids.Be brave.Confess. Apologize. Repent.God is in the transformationbusiness.

Is perfectionism destroying you or your family? I have several people in my life who are battling anxiety. In a discussion with one of them recently, my friend let me know that she feels “robbed” by the anxiety, as though it actually steals something from her. Another friend’s therapist recently labeled her negative thinking as perfectionism […]

Marriage Myths that Might be Making a Mess of Your Marriage

We are NEVER

Debunking the Marriage Myths Over the next few weeks, I’m going to have some posts up about what is and isn’t true about marriage – and it’s based on research. We’ll be unpacking a few simple ideas that may have skewed your thinking for years, help you understand why they’re damaging, give you some ways […]

When you’ve been wronged…


We often think that emotional injury isn’t supposed to happen in marriage, but when you’ve been wronged, or when you hurt the one you love, the Bible’s pretty clear on the course of action that is to follow: Forgiveness. We’ve heard it said that Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to […]

Passive Aggressive Husband?

Are YOU a -fix it- gal-STOP.You're telling your man you don't think he cansolve his own problems.That's disrespect.

Is your husband passive aggressive? According to Google: pas·sive-ag·gres·sive adjective of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials. Men aren’t the only ones capable of being passive aggressive. Women can be […]